Lessons from Adversity
Today is the second anniversary of my son’s spinal cord injury (SCI). People in the SCI community often call this day their “alive day”, though this language isn’t preferred by Mason (who is 19 years old now). The anniversaries of adversity and loss in our lives can be unpredictable and some people choose to ignore them, while others take pause to recognize them. In our society, we often spend a great deal of time trying to avoid adversity and hardship in our lives, though we will all face it. I tend to believe that rituals can mark anniversaries and transitions in important ways. One tradition Mason has created is marking the date with a YouTube video that documents his path. See below for the link.
Before the accident, I had traveled to see my Mom (who has dementia) in Florida and planned to return on Monday, Martin Luther King Day. Something in me yearned to return home sooner than planned, so I drove 15 hours for two days, powered by Mason’s Spotify playlists. I arrived home on Sunday night. Monday morning I caught up with Mason and his life events during the two weeks while I was away. Before he left for skiing I held him tightly and told him I loved him.
Later that day, Donn and I waited in the emergency room at St. Mary’s in Duluth for him to arrive from the ski hill via ambulance. All that we knew was that his vitals were strong and he could not feel his legs. Mason had surgery that evening to remove the pressure from his spinal cord and reconstruct his spine. Recovery began slowly and was filled with uncertainty. Within a few days, we had packed up our house to move to Colorado for inpatient treatment at Craig Hospital in Englewood. We remained there for several months.
Fast forward to today. So much has changed from last year to this year and even more from 2021 to 2023. Mason is more independent and shares his contagious positive attitude and journey on social media. He is a true “influencer”. He hopes to help others who are traveling a path similar to the one he is on.
The purpose of this post though, is to share some of the lessons I have learned from navigating the adversity in my own life, so here they are!
Be intentional!
Perhaps the biggest lesson I have applied to my daily life is to be intentional and recognize the power of my daily choices. In the last year, I have made significant work-life changes to create greater health and to grow my own small business. Each day we make choices, sometimes without thinking. What decisions are you making? What would you like your life to look like?
Let’s go!
Mason often exclaims, “let’s go” and some others might say “don’t hold back”. Either way, life is short and we tend to tell ourselves limiting stories. During this past year, I have taken some calculated risks that I would not have predicted and it feels good to be brave. My business is thriving because of my willingness to put myself out into the world! This idea extends to travel and adventure too. If there is something you have always wanted to do, why wait? One of the things on my “bucket list” was learning how to make sourdough bread (yep, start small) and I can say that I feel like a master baker now. What do you want to try?
Live your purpose!
Mason is an amazing example of this and in watching him, I feel I have a new sense of permission to live my purpose. I do have specific beliefs about why I am here on this earth and I have taken giant steps this year to act on that purpose. While this is something that as a parent I have repeated again and again, my purpose is something that I can feel in my heart and living it has created more abundance in my life. What makes you feel alive?
Love big!
I was a big fan of “loving big” before the accident, so now watch out! It is important to me and my CliftonStrengths talent themes that I fill up my love tank and the love tanks of those significant folks in my life. For me this has meant learning to love the flaws in people and in myself. Everyone deserves to feel honored and appreciated. In fact, I even gave a couple of talks about Love Languages this year! How might you “love bigger” this year?
I hope you find value in what I have shared. I am happy to talk further about any comments or questions you may have. Feel free to reach out to stacy@klearwatercoaching.com.
Please take a moment to watch Mason’s Two Year Video. If you would like to learn more about his story, I recommend following him on instagram: @mason_branstrator. He also has a website: Masonsnextsteps.com where he sells his art. You can also follow our story on Caring Bridge: https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/masonbranstrator
